


Depravity

by MidnightEternal



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Bondage, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dorian Pavus Has Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Naked Cuddling, Off-Screen Negotiation, Panic Attacks, Roleplay, Rope Bondage, Trigger words, safeword not used, stopping mid-scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 09:27:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7679086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightEternal/pseuds/MidnightEternal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Games sometimes go wrong. It’s not the fault of either party, sometimes things just creep up on people when they least expect it. Communication isn’t the issue, but buried horrors are. But Dorian has Bull now, even if sometimes he doesn’t understand that. He isn’t alone anymore, and there’s nothing wrong with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Depravity

**Author's Note:**

> I'm legit killing myself with these feels. But hey, another prompt done from kinkmeme. So... 
> 
> KM prompt: "During some rougher play Iron Bull makes comments that hit too close to home for Dorian, who's nerves are a bit more frayed than usual (about his father, deserting his homeland perhaps, things like that) and his head goes to a dark place. He breaks down crying. Their game comes to a grinding halt and Iron Bull helps Dorian through it."
> 
> Enjoy, my dears <3

The ropes twisted menacingly around Dorian’s body, digging into his skin, wrapped around his chest and securing his arms behind his back. Each knot dipped itself into his skin, lying atop his spine and the joints in his arms. He struggled lightly, thrashing around for play, adding to the game. Bull pulled him up by a length of rope that stretched across his shoulder blades, a handle for the Qunari to move him around, if nothing more. His legs were forcibly bent beneath him, Bull’s large knee knocking into the back of his own and forcing him to kneel. Dorian whimpered around the rope in his mouth at the change in position. The movement of the ropes, and the sharpness of the stretch in his unbent arms burned. It was too much; it wasn’t enough. 

“Like that, do you? Such a dangerous thing can’t wander around by itself here,” Bull growled, lips close to Dorian’s ear. 

Dorian gasped around his gag, twisting, trying to move away. Bull pulled back on the section of rope at his shoulders, keeping the mage on his knees with his back arched. Dorian pushed his back against Bull’s hand, arching further and pushing himself back towards Bull’s pelvis. He panted around the rope, saliva dipping from the corner of his mouth, eyes dark with lust, cock hanging heavy between his legs with need.

“So depraved, you must want this so much.” 

Dorian’s expression dropped. His eyes widened, and the lines of his mouth fell into as much of a frown as he could make stretched around the gag. Of course, faced to the wall like he was, Bull could see any of this. The gag had cut of his ability to speak, as they had planned, but now, he was unsure whether or not that was something he regretted requesting. One word, and his mind took him away from the beautiful scene that he and Bull had created. One silly word, spoken from his lover, but heard in the voice of his father. Of his mother. His teachers and peers. Of his homeland. _Depraved_. Had he known that one word could trigger such a reaction from him in his state, he’d have warned his paramour. He’d have told him. 

He sobbed around the gag, a painful noise leaving his throat. This night had been something he wanted, no, something he needed. So why, now, did it leave the bitter, copper tang of blood in his mouth? Why did the ropes around his arms feel like the metal cuffs and shackles that Bull had promised never to use? Why did his throat feel raw as if he’d been silent for days only to start screaming? Why couldn’t he see, even though Bull knew he hated the darkness? 

He wasn’t aware of the moment during this train of thought that he’d started shaking, trembling in Bull’s arms. He was unsure of when, exactly, he’d gone from being on his knees to being cradled by his lover; Bull’s large hands soothing him, his fingers running softly down his flank. The ropes were being cut away, soft words, nonsensical, in his ears. Scarred lips lightly brushing against his sweat-dampened hair. Ruined ropes thrown to the floor, away from his immediate line of sight, his arms carefully moved back to a more natural position. The ache of blood rushing back down them seemed to take him back away from the silence of a dark room long left behind. When had the gag been taken from his mouth? He couldn’t recall. 

Light filled his sight slowly, creeping back in from the edges of his vision. He could feel tears on his cheeks, drying in places, and fresh in others. He sobbed again, squeezing his eyes shut against the emotional pain that wanted to devour him and had overtaken every one of his senses for those moments he couldn’t remember. 

Dorian opened his eyes again, Bull’s face coming into focus directly above him, his battle-wounded face expressing so much concern that it almost hurt to look at. He reached up slowly, staring into Bull’s green eyes, and touched the tips of his shaking fingers to Bull’s cheek. 

“Bull,” Dorian let out like a breath, eyes filling anew with fresh tears. 

“I got you,” Bull whispered back, laying his hand atop Dorian’s chest, feeling the shallow rise and fall of his breath. “Breathe, _Kadan_.” 

Dorian dropped his hand back down to Bull’s, grasping at his fingers in desperation. He burrowed closer, his mussed up hair splaying against Bull’s chest as his nuzzled into the muscle of his lover. 

“I should go,” Dorian said, his voice catching with more tears, and his body language the complete opposite of his words. 

“Only if that’s what you actually want. Otherwise, you should stay exactly where you are.” 

His words drew another sob from Dorian, and he began crying again in earnest. It took some time for Bull to calm his mage down again. He made rumbling noises in his chest, like the soothing roll of quiet thunder in the distance, and hugged Dorian tighter to him. The mage clung to the hand on his bare chest, gripping it until his knuckles paled in colour. Eventually, his tears stopped, leaving him hiccupping, and unable to take a deep breath. Bull soothed him through that too, cupping Dorian’s cheek with his free hand and gazing deeply into his eyes. Whispered words of comfort fell from his lips, ever accentuated by the word “ _Kadan_ ”. One word that meant more than a thousand could mean to Dorian. A word that fell from his lover’s lips like a vow. _Kadan_. 

Breathing deeply, like the breath a man takes after almost drowning, Dorian loosened his grip on Bull’s hand and tried to look away, only to have the hand on his cheek turn his head back, gently coercing him to look into Bull’s eyes. The beautiful, steady green, ever focused on his every move. 

“I’m sor–”

Bull shook his head. “Don’t apologise, _Kadan_. There’s nothing you need to be sorry for.” 

“But –”

“No, you’re perfect.” 

Dorian whimpered, frowning, tears filling his eyes again, causing them to turn to a steely grey. “No, no, I’m not. I’m depraved, and shameful. I shouldn’t want this. He said I shouldn’t want this, that there was something wrong with me. No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough... I... I couldn’t be enough. Because I was wrong. They all said it, all of them. But I...” 

“You...? What Dorian?” Bull questioned. 

“I care for you, perhaps more than I should.” 

“And I care for you, Dorian. You are mine. Mine to love and protect. Fuck Tevinter, and all of their half-assed rules about what love can or can’t be. All I know is that you are _mine, Kadan_. And that’s all that matters to me. You are not shameful, not a secret to be hidden away. You are not depraved, there is nothing wrong with you. You are perfect.”

“The things you say...” Dorian breathed. “ _Amatus_.” 

“Let me hold you. I have you, I’m not going anywhere.”

Bull curled over Dorian for the entire night, a large, protecting figure over his bare body. The sheet that he pulled over them made another cover against the cruelness of the world, and Dorian gratefully shielded himself like that for the night. Until his mask was donned again come morning.


End file.
